Indianapolis

For the first time in almost 4 months I am back in Indianapolis...

My dearest aunt Janet, my mothers sister, has passed away. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed relatively peacefully and unexpectedly before the cancer could take her this past Sunday from a blood clot. Though this fact alone is devastating to my family and all who knew her, almost everyone could agree it seemed that god had graced her with the ability to die with the dignity that slow death of cancer seems to rob from people. I had a hard time not thinking of this at her funeral. I had a hard time not thinking that she was lucky.

Hard to say.

Anyhow, my aunt Janet was a special person and she will be missed by many.

So, on the death of my aunt, I returned to Indy this past Wednesday for the funeral. I had considered coming back to Indy the week before for various reasons but had decided I was not ready. My thinking was that finally, for the first time in a very long time, I was happy... and I did not want to disrupt this positive momentum.

But my aunts death gave me little option. I bought my ticket and 3 days later I was in Indy.

Its not that I hate Indianapolis... To be honest, when I moved here 4 years ago I had such a negative impression of the city that when I finally got here I was very surprised at how cool the city actually is. But, there is no hiding it... I am in love with Portland. I always have been since I moved there in 2000.

So, being back in Indianapolis has been a little strange.

I am making efforts to visit my friends and visit with family as much as possible and it has been a good trip overall. Great quality time with my grandmother and grandfather, my mom, Richard, Dad, Lisa and many more...

And now that I am back, it is clear to me that I will never live in Indianapolis again. I moved here 4 years ago for a job and never expected to be here as long as I was. I never even really unpacked.

It wasn't a waste of time by any means, living in Indianapolis. During the past 4 years I was close to my family and made some great friends that I care for very much... But I can't say I was really happy during any of it. Not fully... And during it all, I wanted to get back to Portland.

So, finally getting back to Portland has been great. It has certainly lived up to my expectations. It is different and I am not trying to recreate my life from 5 years ago by any means. I have made new friends, been visiting with old friends and exploring the city like its completely new to me again. It is for the most part. Will I stay there forever? Who knows. But right now I am happy.


My flight back for Portland is in a few hours. The weather here in Indianapolis is COLD COLD COLD... There is probably 3 inches of snow on the ground and I am packed and ready to get going... Back to Portland.